There is a concept that has been around probably since air. I believe it has been perpetuated over time by various religions and cultural establishments. It can be a very powerful concept. It can affect people’s decisions. It can cause more heartache than would be necessary otherwise. It can control people’s lives.
Regret is one of the most powerful and managing sensations that we as humans experience. It really can cause us to alter behavior completely from what is intended. Or on the other end, it can cause us to experience a low vibrational energy for long periods of time that are not helpful or conducive. There….simply put.
I posted on Facebook for examples of regret to address and I got some really good ones that I have been given permission to share. And I did come up with a couple of my own. I asked on Facebook because I was coming up with fewer than I thought I would on my own. I think it’s because I don’t believe in regret, and so I had trouble remembering my own. How did this come about? Well, I have been thinking about this for quite some time, and I hear examples on TV all the time. Such is the case here….I was watching a talk show during which a guest expressed regret at not having gone to college. At that moment, I made it a point to write about this. And I started to write down ideas…but was coming up short, Thus, the Facebook post. I will share them and my responses as I go along.
(My own) Regretting not going to college or continuing with theatre….well, the more complex response here is that I did not feel confident enough for either. The simplest and most direct response….It was not supposed to happen for me in this lifetime. My education would lie elsewhere. Really.
One friend mentioned a few things, and then answered her own posts. 🙂 “Regretting spending time making money and blowing it on stuff I didn’t need instead of keeping my kids in the same house and school and staying home more often”…”Regretting letting go of some wonderful men cause I had ego. And because I didn’t know how shitty slot of the rest”…”1 of the biggest regrets is getting my tubes tied…cause it really isn’t reversible…. and they have better things now a days”…. “Not moving to a warmer climate because of my x husband when my kids were young so now they have kids and I feel trapped in il”. Now….watch her response to the point of it…. “I agree…regret is a word that means dif things to dif people. ..doesn’t mean you haven’t let go and learned a lesson. …to some it means man I wish I’d done this dif I will teach my children to do it dif”. What a beautiful thing!
Another friend….”when you’re a mom, there are about a ton of regrets that revolve around kids”….”I wish I’d eaten better when I was younger and was kinder to my body. I spend a disproportionate amount of time making up for that now.”…..”luckily my kids are completely awesome and I know they will be fine. It’s my inability to fall into the “mom” role and be the kind of mom I thought I would be that is so hard. So that is what I’m working on. I like to be alone and do all of the things I love to do, and the work I love to do, and fitting kids around that like they are furniture is just not possible. So to somehow balance it all out, retain my identity, yet still be a good devoted wife and mom… therein lies the struggle. I swear I have been a hermit, monk or nun in past lives… liviing with others is so hard for me.”. Now, here’s a very interesting situation. It is very simple to say that everything happens for a reason. And I very much believe that! But in certain situations, it is harder to grasp that concept. This friend is aware that she will come to this at some point, but what I suggested to her is that all of it did happen for a reason. She is their teacher. They are hers. What is taught is among them. But there is definitely learning happening there…and my feeling is that it is strongest for my friend the mother.
Another of my own is about leaving or causing an abusive relationship. This can mean between adult partners in a relationship, or between a child and an adult that the child trusts for whatever natural reason they would. I can speak to this one a little bit. Here’s the thing….within it, the ramifications are really not noted until later on. And later on, hopefully, the purpose comes clear. Yes, I said ‘purpose’. Everything happens for a reason….mine sure did, and I embrace it now. It is all a part of my journey…my education. (And he and I have reconciled very well.)
Here’s a harder one…regretting telling someone that you love them before it is too late, and they pass on. Wow, right? I have responses from this level and the next. I believe that when someone transitions, we feel so very much love for that person. It is termed ‘grieving’…but I see it as loving that person. That level of love is something we can share at any time during their lifetime, during mine…at ANY time. Yes, we can. And if we don’t feel as if we did, then we feel…yes, ‘regret’. And that feeling leaves us often feeling smaller…less than… not a good person.
Here’s my point….Love is Love! Before one is born. During one’s lifetime. After one transitions from this physical experience. Is that love different? I do not believe so at all! My love for my grandmother is the same as when I sat with her watching the Carol Burnett show. Love is Love. And I think that the feelings that we tend to feel after one passes … the ones that seem so sad and “Oh poor them….” are really a reflection of what WE are feeling. What is that feeling? WE miss them. We miss their presence. We miss their presence in the physical. This does not have to mean that they are not still around, being with us. But the point is that when someone passes, we feel very strong feelings. Those feelings can really be shared while they are here. Right?
Regarding regret about that, here’s the thing…..regret is a thing for the living. And it is something that limits us. Folks who are passing – transitioning – are so much happier than we are! They are free from the trappings of their physical bodies, and have gathered whatever lessons they needed from this lifetime, and can breathe deeper, ,and fly faster for a while.And they retain all lessons gained from this lifetime.
Now…..how much celebration is warranted in that?! When someone passes, they are free! And….any feelings that you feel that you did not share with them? They know it now! That soul knows it now… likely did before transitioning….and all is not only well, but VERY well!
So….regret is really fabricated by the living. It does not exist in the happily crossed over and the spirit realm. So really….any regrets that people may feel?….Everything happens for a reason. Everything.